


so this is what it looks like

by neopunch (caihongs)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Corporate, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, Original Character(s), Renjun is Here To Give Him One, Single Parents, Strangers to Lovers, but really tiny i swear, new guy at work renjun, single dad!mark, sua lee is my baby i hope you all love her as much as i do
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:08:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23278366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caihongs/pseuds/neopunch
Summary: Sometimes, it feels like it’s Mark and Sua against the world. A world unkind to a twenty-seven-year-old father and his five-year-old daughter, but he has never, not for a second, thought that maybe, just maybe, someone else should join them.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee
Comments: 37
Kudos: 114





	1. once upon a time

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by 'so this is love' from cinderella (highly recommend emile pandolfi ver but again youtube account [l0user](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5MP0i1BIoI)  
> was the original inspiration for this)
> 
> honourable mentions:  
> debussy - deux arabesques  
> dvorak - humoresque (played by mischa elman)  
> tchaikovsky - violin concerto (played by jascha heifetz)
> 
> these pieces have no bearing on the Vibes of this fic but please give them a listen if you would like! i've been listening to a lot of classical music recently and have enjoyed these ones as of late :)
> 
> here goes my First Chaptered nct fic let's get it
> 
> p.s the italics in dialogue usually indicate that they're speaking korean but it depends on the context!

When the sky unfurls itself in an indigo spread, just moments before the sun wakes, a little girl just scraping a metre tall with black hair tickling the sides of her flushed cheeks, blinks slowly and rubs away at the sleep in the corners of her eyes. She unrolls herself slowly out of her dinosaur-print duvet burrito and the soles of her feet land softly against the wooden floorboards. Tiptoeing to the door, she stretches out for the door knob and twists it slowly as to not disturb the silence blanketing the room. Sky blue flannelette pajama shirt dotted with white sheep rucked up to reveal matching elasticated pants hiked up above her belly button, she makes her way to the bedroom directly in front of her own, which has its door slightly ajar and she quietly rejoices. 

When she shimmies her way in, the birds have just begun to chirp outside the south-facing window, their warbling indicative of the time and now, she’s a hundred percent confident that it’s time to rise and shine.

  
  


"Appa, wake up.” She gets onto her tiptoes to nudge at the navy blue lump on the left side of the king-sized bed.

  
  


No response. As expected, but she doesn’t relent and climbs onto the uninhabited side, crawling her way to the lump hidden underneath the doona, and promptly flops herself on top.

  
  


“ _Appa!_ ” She sings, pitch almost akin to the chirping birds, and the lump groans, a mix between a ‘wha _—_ ’ and ‘ _S_ _ua mmf—_ ’ before it shakes her off and immediately wraps its arms around her like a vice.

  
  


“You're the worst alarm clock,” the lump mumbles, a head popping out of the duvet and revealing itself as a young man with a shadow of stubble on his upper lip and curly black hair springing out in five different directions. “Lying is bad Daddy,” she reprimands while her father pulls her closer to his chest and she turns onto her side, cheek smushed up against his collarbone as she pokes at the slight indent on his nose bridge.

  
  


“You got me, touché little miss. Good morning to you too.” He bends his chin down to boop her on the nose back and Sua squeezes her eyes shut as her dad holds her up in the air Simba-style while he wriggles back to sit upright against the headboard.

  
  


“Now princess, what would you like for breakfast?” Sua sits cross-legged in between his legs and ponders for less than a second before her eyes light up like stars.

  
  


“Pancakes! Or eggs! But…” Her silence and refusal to meet his eyes speaks louder than words and her father feigns a grimace before standing up, pushing on his glasses and carrying her to the bathroom.

  
  


“Getting cheekier every day, aren’t you? Maybe we should stop letting Uncle Jisung come over so often—”

  
  


“ _Appa!_ ” Her exaggerated pout and manipulative use of Korean dissolves any sense of authority her father owned in that second and a chuckle escapes him as he presses a wet kiss onto her cheek, setting her down on the stepstool.

  
  


“Sweetheart I was only kidding but it _does_ sound like you like Uncle Jisung more than me.” he trails off and the speed at which Sua yanks the green toothbrush out of her mouth in sheer fury at such an accusation has her dad throwing his hands up in surrender, matching toothbrush protruding in his left cheek.

  
  


“Dad, you’re not funny!” she says, spitting strawberry-flavoured toothpaste all over the floor and her dad pulls her stool closer to the sink with his foot and brushes her unruly locks away from her face.

  
  


“Not on the floor nugget! And I’m sorry, don’t be upset,” he consoles while his daughter fills up her Spiderman-printed cup, brows still furrowed as she spits out the pink toothpaste and rinses her mouth with a distinct ferocity that her dad has no clue where she inherited from. 

  
  


“It’s okay, just make good pancakes.” She waits for him to rinse and wipe his mouth dry, brushing her hair with a white fine-toothed comb as he does. He doesn’t waste a moment to appease his fireball of a daughter, silently marvelling at how independent she’s become as he ends up following her out of the bathroom. He usually marvels every morning he wakes up to his little one, but Little One only takes his prolonged gaze as a challenge.

  
  


“No closing eyes Dad!” They engage in their daily staring contest in the middle of their hallway and as always, he can never keep his eyes open for long and Sua whoopees when he blinks instantly. 

  
  


“I win!” She jumps up in the air, eyes curved into crescents and her father pinches her cheek.

  
  


“You’re getting too good.” Sua winks at him, and he’s is stunned at the sight before she sticks her tongue out, tugging him by the index finger to the kitchen. “Don’t be sad Appa! We’re making pancakes now!” He’s brought to the front of the fridge where Sua uses all the might in her tiny body and pulls the door open with gusto, pointing repeatedly at the milk carton on the second shelf. 

  
  


“Okay sweetie, give me a second, Dad has to check—” And as the gods would have it, his ringtone sounds from the bedroom and he lets Sua take out the milk and eggs with the help of another stool, and dashes down the hallway. 

  
  


“Hyung! You up?”

  
  


“Hey Ji, sorry I was just in the kitchen. We’re making pancakes this morning as per princess’ request.” His cousin’s chuckle drifts softly through the receiver.

  
  


“I swear you had them yesterday morning too. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that my class got rescheduled so I can’t come over to look after her tonight, I’m so sorry hyung! Could you ask Dejun instead?” Jisung sounds extremely apologetic as he always does, on the off chance that he can’t babysit Sua but Mark immediately counters.

  
  


“It’s alright Jisung. I’ll ring up Dej and see if he’s free, don’t sweat it okay? You always help me out so don’t apologise.”

  
  


Mark can almost hear Jisung smile through the phone. “Okay, let me know if he can’t and I’ll see if my kids can come in tomorrow for class instead. You know I’d drop anything for her,” Jisung is as smitten for Sua as she is for her Uncle _Jee-song_ and Mark huffs in response. “I _know_ , it’s almost concerning how tough she was with me this morning when I insinuated that you were a bad influence on her.”

  
  


“I knew she was coming around! C’mon Markie, you know I’m her favourite,” 

  
  


“I’m hanging up now!” Jisung only breathes out a quick bye and the line drops. Shaking his head at the idea of Jisung and his own daughter banding together to plan Mark’s demise, he slips his phone into his pocket and skids back into the kitchen, eyes scanning for any signs of milk spillage or broken eggs. Alas, like the angel she is, his daughter is perched on the white bar stool, legs swinging back and forth, her arms folded on the kitchen island as she hums the tune to her favourite cartoon.

  
  


“Dad was just on the phone to Uncle Jisung.” Her eyes glimmer at the sound of her favourite uncle and Mark crouches down to meet her at eye level. 

  
  


“He can’t come over tonight, but I’m going to give Uncle Dejun a ring, okay? And maybe Uncle Yukhei will come too and bring Bella, but only if you’re a _really_ good girl today.” And like a charm, Sua’s eyes widen to twice their size at the sound of not only her other favourite uncles babysitting (Dejun would throw a fit if he heard he was kicked off first place on the Uncle Hierarchy, let alone by Adult Terror Jisung Park), but at their pet dog tagging along as well. Sua is an absolute sucker for all animals, to Mark’s slight dismay, who didn’t realise the profound effect Noah’s Ark was going to have on her, and the promise of the yappy beagle immediately lifts her mood. Although it’ll definitely ensue in a month of her tugging at his sleeves begging for one, he can deal with that later. 

  
  


“Don't get too excited nug, I still have to call your uncles and you still have to be on your best behaviour at school, okay? _Promise?_ ” Sua doesn’t hesitate before she locks her tiny pinky with his, and Mark’s heart melts like butter at the toothy grin she gives him.

  
  


“ _Promise!_ Pancakes now?” Mark obliges and she watches in wonder as he follows the exact same pancake recipe as yesterday and the sun, just now creeping out of the horizon, spills out of the balcony sliding door and colours their home in shades of orange and yellow. 

  
  


This is the life of Mark and Sua Lee, settled in their home made for two, who wake up before the sun, eat an unhealthy amount of pancakes per week, and take life as life comes. Their family unit is glued at the seams with Dejun and Kunhang from college who have become their chosen family, and Jisung, the only kin they have out here in Canada who would move mountains and empty oceans for them. Sua stays with her mum on the weekends and it’s those two days of every week that Mark is plagued with the ever present fear that he isn’t good enough on his own. It’s tough, making sure he provides for and gives his little girl the best life he can on his own, while being present as a father. When he misses an Easter Hat parade or can’t make it to Sua’s recital because of something as meaningless and uncompromising as a meeting or night-before-product-launch, Mark truly wishes he and Mina worked out.

In some alternate universe, where their naive college romance grew with them as a permanency, where they saw the other as integral to their futures beyond the walls of their lecture halls and dormitory rooms, where Mark was there for her at the hospital that night, where Mina didn’t sob in his arms after the nurses took their daughter back to the incubator and told him she couldn’t do it alone, maybe. Just maybe. 

Yet, when Mark looks at Sua—really looks at her—, sees how she’s always smiling with her eyes closed, thick black hair tucked messily behind her ears, and her cheeks perpetually rosy. Watches her walk life so fearlessly, uninhibited by anything that even remotely poses as an obstacle, and with a growing thirst for knowledge and bright eyes that soak up everything she sees with a formidable clarity, he thinks that he must’ve done something right.

Sometimes, it feels like it’s Mark and Sua against the world. A world unkind to a twenty-seven-year-old father and his five-year-old daughter, but he has never, not for a second. thought that maybe, just maybe, someone else should join them.

  
  
  


In another life, Renjun would find the strength in himself to say no to Jeno but it is not this one.

  
  


“‘Go on a run with me! It’ll be fun!'Jeno, I am going to _decimate_ you after I finish my first day at my new job with permanent dark circles and the absence of a soul.” He almost spits onto the pavement with how much anger is rolling off of his person in waves. 

  
  


“I’m _so sorry_ Jun! I didn’t realise I would sleep through my alarm and I was out all night—”

  
  


“Helping out your boyfriend with choreography, _I_ _know_ ,” Renjun exhales heavily. “Doesn’t mean I can’t be mad at you.”

  
  


Jeno whines again. 

  
  


“I’ll make it up to you! I’ll treat you to steak at Jacobs! Don’t be mad Renjun, I’m sorry.” Renjun would never stay angry at his best friend and Jeno knows that, but Jeno is also a fool half of the time, easily swayed and takes every chance to placate the anguished, Renjun being the main source of said anguish. Renjun would also never say no to free steak.

  
  


“Fine! But if I’m not jacked like you after this solo run, I’m blocking your number.”

  
  


“Renjun, what did we say about realistic short-term goals.”

  
  


“Consider yourself blocked.” 

  
  


At six in the morning, decked out in a full Adidas tracksuit and Ultraboosts that he has never worn for running purposes, ever, Renjun Huang stands outside his apartment block in the freezing cold and refuses to let himself turn around and run back into bed. If one thing could be injected into Renjun’s bloodstream to sustain him for life, it would be pure, white-hot, spite. So in some odd way, this spite, generated from Jeno flaking on him and from himself, for his absolute aversion to exercise impacting him more than he’d like to admit, it fuels him with a renewed vigour— to run this damned lap as if it was the last thing he’d ever do. The Huangs raised no quitter and also, Renjun wants to see what happens if he starts off this new period in his life, marked by his new job, with the adoption of a healthy habit. Wants to see if the rumour about exercise improving mental and physical health is true after all. The tiny Jeno that lives in his head tells him he’s being an idiot, and Renjun agrees, but if Renjun wasn’t unashamedly him, the world would not rotate the same. 

At the tender age of twenty-six going on twenty-seven, Renjun begins his first jog and it’s life changing in more ways than one. For one, his chest stings and it’s even more excruciating than taking the stairs up to his unit. Second, he doesn’t expect to have a tiny human ram themselves into the back of his knees just as he makes a turn.

  
  


“Oof! Sorry!” is what Renjun hears when he turns around and sees a little girl with large, twinkly eyes, thick black hair in two neat braids and a bright red mark on her forehead.

  
  


“Are you alright? Does it hurt?!” Renjun crouches down and does a quick visual inspection of her forehead and entire body, concern manifesting very quickly and evidently over his face to which the little girl only giggles at in response.

  
  


“I’m okay mister!” she says with extreme confidence, clapping the dirt off the palms of her hands and gives him a wide smile. Renjun is flabbergasted.

  
  


“Okay sweetie,” he says warily, still very much concerned about the reddening skin on her forehead but she’s completely unperturbed it seems, when she asks, “Mister, what is your name?” 

  
  


“My name is Renjun, what’s yours?” It’s awfully endearing how she rolls the foreign word in her mouth, repeating it softly to herself before again, shooting him a toothy grin.

  
  


“Hi Mister Renjun! My name is Sara!” Sara stares up at him, her body thrumming with an overwhelming amount of energy and Renjun doesn’t know what to do with a lost child, who has absolutely no fear in their eyes. 

  
  


“It’s nice to meet you Sara, but do you remember where your parents are?” 

  
  


“I think Daddy is with ducks.” She extends her hand out and Renjun, with no other choice, takes it tentatively. Although she’s the lost toddler in this case, Renjun feels even more disorientated. Is _he_ lost? As the child tugs him further towards the pond, Renjun lagging behind, he spots a distressed man in the distance, indeed near the ducks.

  
  


“ _Lee Sua! Where are you?!_ ” 

  
  


Suddenly, Renjun is being jostled along at a shocking speed across the park, as the little girl, still firmly gripping Renjun’s hand, sprints towards the sound.

  
  


“ _Appa! I’m here!_ ” She responds giddily back in Korean, waving her free hand about and Distressed Man turns around to spot his daughter holding hands with a complete stranger. Renjun is just as nonplussed as he is, however the unease written on her father’s face does not detract from how young he is. In his mid-twenties at least, donning a grey hoodie and black sweatpants, looking every bit like a college grad, yet with a fluffy dog-shaped backpack swung over his shoulder and the gait of someone with burdens beyond student debt and existential concerns about their career versus their true passions. Someone with a young child, Renjun draws the obvious conclusion. 

  
  


“ _Y_ _ou can’t just run off like that Sua! And what did I tell you about strangers? What if someone took you away and Daddy couldn’t find you?!"_

  
  


Renjun stands there dumbly, trying to gently pry his wrist from her hands but her grip remains strong and while her father checks every part of her for injuries and scolds her in rapid Korean that Renjun understands a minute percentage of thanks to the bane of existence, Jeno Lee, Sara (Sua?) only scratches her forehead sheepishly.

  
  


“Sorry Appa, I won’t do it again.” Her words placate her father for the moment as he presses her close in a hug, and the situation worsens when Renjun _still_ can’t shake the little girl’s hand off his own. The dad looks up at him coldly, because what kind of weirdo holds onto your daughter’s hand— then his eyes trail to his daughter’s iron-like grip on the presumed weirdo.

  
  


“Sara! Let go of this man’s hand.” Sara pointedly refuses and moves to cling to Renjun’s thigh. Renjun doesn’t know what exactly about him has garnered this little girl’s interest but it would be great if that same charm would get her father to stop staring him down with those identical enormous eyes of his. 

  
  


“This is Mister Renjun, Dad say hi.” Dad looks Renjun up and down, definitely sizing him up and Renjun, at _this_ point, has to blurt:

  
  


“She ran into me when I was walking down the footpath and I was going to bring her back but I think she took me to you instead?” Renjun’s voice goes up a pitch in correspondence with his still present confusion and her father looks down at his daughter, who has now busied herself with watching the ducks waddling in the grass while still clutching onto Renjun’s clammy hand, and back at Renjun.

  
  


“Well, in that case, I apologise for my, um, hostility.” Renjun waves him off with his free hand.

  
  


“I would be the same if I was you, don’t worry. Your daughter, she um-” 

  
  


“Has no fear? Is a total enigma? Yeah, I’m trying to work that out too.” They both look down to see Sara yanking out dandelions, Renjun’s index finger trapped in her tiny fist. Renjun is pretty sure they both coo at the sight.

  
  


“Pardon me, I’m Mark, and um, thank you for looking out for her. I swear I was just trying to find her sweater in her bag but—” he pauses and scratches the nape of his neck, almost a spitting image of his daughter scratching her forehead. It’s adorable how similar they are but Renjun recoils immediately at the thought. “Anyways thank you, Renjun,” he offers his hand and Renjun shakes it. If anything, Renjun should be thanking Sara. God knows how much further Renjun would have made it on his own jog without losing a lung. And in another life, if Renjun was devoid of all morals and values, he would thank her for introducing him to her handsome father. 

  
  


“Don’t apologise, she’s quite the character.” Renjun’s posture softens when he sees the little girl trying her hardest to blow the dandelion and crouches down in front of her.

  
  


“Sara, you’re going to have to let go of my hand now.” Sara pulls out her pout very deliberately and Renjun watches in the real time, the immediate visible impact it has on her dad, whose frown dissipates in that instant.

  
  


“It was very nice to meet you Sara, but Mister Renjun has to go now.” She reluctantly lets go and Renjun waves goodbye, still squatting to meet her eyes. She gives him a timid wave back, hiding behind her father now that Renjun has removed her grip on him. _God_ , she’s adorable. 

  
  


“Again, sorry about that, Renjun. She doesn’t usually act out like this.” Mark gives his daughter a stern look before looking back at Renjun and giving him a small smile. It’s a cute smile, but Renjun would take that with him to the grave. 

  
  


“Don’t apologise! And it was nice to meet you too Mark.” The way Mark colours slightly is definitely because of the sunlight and Renjun clears his throat to quickly dispel the thought that _he_ incited that flush on the young father’s face. He smiles back, gives Sara another wave before he and Mark meet eyes again. It’s awkward, this eye-contact, half-smiling nonsense they’re engaged in, and Renjun takes it as his cue to leave.

  
  


There’s a pull to Mark’s gaze that Renjun dismisses as his own thirsting demon acting up and turns back the other way. 

So, one could say the jog was a life changing experience, and when Jeno asks him how it was over the phone an hour later, Renjun tells him it wasn’t that bad but he still owes him steak big-time.


	2. a serendipitous occasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One might call it a happy accident, that his daughter bumped into the back of Renjun’s legs in park during the early hours of the morning. And even yet, Mark is afraid of what will happen now that he’s let himself have this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will mark ever let himself have nice things? stay tuned.

Mark, by all means, has awful vision, but that does not detract from the fact that he still has eyes. Eyes that were frantically searching for his daughter in the milliseconds after he had first let them leave her, digging into her backpack filled with snacks and tissues and hair elastics and plush toys and everything but her grey woollen jumper he swore he had thrown in just before they left the house. 

Eyes that would scan the landscape, running across hills and under trees and around dogs, just to find her hand in hand with a man he does not know. Now Mark, as a young father, definitely has his priorities straight (Sua first, and non-Suas after), but his eyes would never lie to him. Mark had contacts that allowed him to see within more than three feet in front of him and the man, clad in a black tracksuit and whose hand was trapped in the grips of his daughter, was good-looking. 

He was lean and probably quite fit if him being at the park at the time in that attire had to show for anything, had a nice smile that made your chest all warm and tingly, and bright, clear eyes. Now in any other situation, their prolonged interaction would have rubbed Mark up the wrong way, but Sua, clearly enamoured by the stranger she collected on her little venture, thought differently and would have been content with dragging Mr Renjun back home with them if she had it her way. 

So, apart from Mark’s initial keep-looking-at-my-daughter-and-I’ll-deck-you plan of attack, he had quickly changed tactics upon learning that Renjun had just been the poor subject of his daughter’s antics and although he’d hate to admit, he was almost happy at the fact. ‘Oh thank God, the cute guy isn’t a child predator!’ was his first thought upon hearing his explanation of what had actually happened. 

Jesus, he even _blushed_ when Renjun said his name. 

Mark hasn’t dated in a long time, if it wasn’t obvious by now. With a baby on his hip, bills to pay, a demanding job, it was the last thing he would ever consider. No lingering eyes at the handsome bank clerk who worked in the same building as he did, nor at the pretty girl from the cafe round the corner. Mark wasn’t about to divide his little free time between his daughter, one of the only constants in his life, and a stranger who wasn’t intent on a forever with someone with a mouth to feed at home.

Despite his cousin’s and best friends’ pleas for Mark to let himself have something for himself, he never listened. Jisung called him stubborn, and Dejun hugged Mark for a long, long time, before he left and went back to his own forever waiting at home. 

  
  


And yet, as he buttons up Sua’s indigo-coloured pinafore and rebraids her hair into two neat plaits, his eyes are still painting the picture of Mr Renjun.

  
  
  


**_jeno_ **

_good luck for today renjun! go get em tiger_

Renjun has half the mind to leave Jeno on read but lets his rational side overcome its urges and gives his best friend a heart react before dropping it back onto his bed. His tie lies on his bed next to his phone and Renjun makes quickwork of tying it, staring at himself in the mirror as he does. 

Sure, he could have never imagined himself working at one of the best firms in Toronto, let alone Canada, with his just-over-average skillset and the interview he was sure he bombed with the amount of stuttering the interviewer had to suffer through on Renjun’s nervous, sleep-deprived, shuddering behalf. Yet, he here is, in a pressed suit, tie sitting just below his Adam’s apple and his hair styled off his forehead.

Who is this? Renjun finds himself enjoying what’s in the mirror and for someone who had an adolescence characterised by self-deprecation that trickled into early adulthood, that’s a win. He looks like a God in his silk tie and tailored suit and he’s going to make every one of his coworkers kiss the ground he walks on. 

  
  
  


Sua has Mark tearing his hair out.

  
  


“Baby, did you really like meeting Mr Renjun today?” _‘I did too’_ , is what he almost utters in response to his own question and Mark narrows his eyes, before focusing his attention onto his daughter, who, in the midst of squeezing into her sneakers, stares at him as if he should know the answer already.

  
  


“Sua, Daddy is asking you a question.” Mark does a pat-down before he closes the door and Sua gives him a look that Mark does not know how to interpret.

  
  


“Yes.” is her curt reply as the elevator dings and the two walk in, Sua on her toes as she presses the close button and stabs at the ground floor button.

  
  


“Can Daddy ask why?” His daughter remains mum and just twirls her braid with her free hand, the other in Mark’s secure grip this time. 

  
  


“Sua.” He squats to meet her eyes and lifts up her chin. “Appa is asking because not every stranger is as nice as Mr Renjun and they might hurt you or take you away, do you understand?” Sua cocks her head in a mix of confusion and if Mark squints, remorse. She wraps her arms around his neck and Mark carries her with ease as they get out of the elevator. 

  
  


“But _Dad_ , you said it already.” The walk to school isn’t a long one but Mark savours every minute of it before he has to be separated from his favourite person in the world for hours on end. Mark stares at her and Sua is irritated at him, her eyebrows creased and lips pursed in frustration. 

  
  


“Sua, I don’t understand—”

  
  


“You said Mr Renjun is nice.” She pats him on the shoulder and he lets her down just as they round the corner to the green gates, but the brows are still furrowed and her big eyes are staring him down.

  
  


“I _know_ darling, but Daddy is saying that you can’t go wherever you want without letting me know and someone could really—” Mark realises the strife of describing crimes to a young daughter who has no scope of danger and only sees the good in everything to a hazardous fault. As is the case with most children, but Sua has a special gift of seeing perpetually in rose-coloured glasses. Her opinion on robbers is that ‘they just want something nice to bring home to their parents! Like the drawings I bring to you!’ even after Mark’s extensive explanation after they’d watched Home Alone during Christmas and Mark had given up pretty quickly after that. Upon telling Mina about it over Facetime, she’d only laughed in his face and told him that their daughter inherited his naiveté in an overwhelming dosage.

  
  


“ _Okay Appa,_ ” she relents and Mark does not appreciate the sigh that leaves her when he taps at his cheek.

  
  


“We’re going to have a talk about this when I get home, alright? Now, before you go,” She wraps her arms around his neck one last time and plants a peck on his cheek.

  
  


“Bye Daddy, I love you,” she says with a lift of her mouth, clearly not taking her father’s words to heart and Mark makes a mental note to ask Dejun if he can magick a Sua-proof explanation on Stranger Danger before he gives her a kiss on the cheek back.

  
  


“I love you too sweetheart, now have a good day at school alright? Uncle Dejun is going to pick you up from school so you have to be on your best behaviour otherwise no Uncle Yukhei and no Bella.” 

  
  


“Ay ay captain!” Sua straightens her posture and gives him a salute that Mark wholeheartedly cackles at as other children milling around with their parents stare at the two curiously. 

  
  


Before he can keep her any longer, she waves and shoos him off before marching into the open gates. There isn’t anything Mark wouldn’t do for her, and the thought never leaves his mind as he makes his own commute to work. But first, he looks up ‘How To Teach Your Child Stranger Danger’ on Google and doesn’t take in anything else before he scans his pass into the skyrise building and bumps into none other than the catalyst himself. 

  
  


Eyes wide, they stare at each other for an entire minute, Renjun, now dressed in a tailored suit and not in athleisure, and Mark in his own suit and not in his glorified pajamas. He knew at first sight that Renjun was pretty cute and had established that as a fact, but the fear of losing his daughter had overridden his raging bisexual beast. Now, that Sua is very much safe and it’s only him and Renjun, something smelling a lot like the seeds of infatuation plant themselves in Mark’s gut when Renjun grins.

  
  


“Hello again.” Mark curls into himself inside when Renjun makes a small gesture to the elevator and Mark, like a stunned squirrel, stumbles forward. He definitely catches Renjun’s soft snort and curses at himself. One cute boy and he’s falling over his own feet. 

  
  


“You work here as well?” is what Mark musters the courage to say when they get into the elevator and he notices how Renjun doesn’t press on another button. Seeing as only three buttons are lit, one being Mark’s floor, the churning intensifies. One in three chance, 33% chance, 0.33— 

  
  


“Now I do. Today’s my first day actually.” Standing shoulder-to-shoulder as a result of everyone pushed up uncomfortably against each other, Mark realises just how much height he has over the other. Not that’s at the forefront of his mind when he learns that it’s Renjun’s first day and there’s supposed to be a new guy in his department coming in today.

  
  


Mark doesn’t usually entertain himself with office gossip, but Donghyuck, his wretched cubicle neighbour, had stage-whispered after the whole floor had their eyes on the CEO’s office, that the guy Taeil was talking to had been a mole for their rival company. He was their latest addition and Mark didn’t want to say he called it in the beginning, but he definitely didn’t pass the ‘vibe check’, to speak in the words of his generation. Too cocky for someone fresh out of his degree, he had the gait of someone who knew they had a foolproof backup plan lest this ‘gig’ didn’t work out. Anyways, he would have never realised the gravity of the situation if it wasn’t for Donghyuck blabbing his mouth every other minute, gossiping with the likes of Yeri and Sanha, and bugging Mark every other _other_ minute.

  
  


“I knew he was a rat the minute he walked into the office, and you did too! Right, _hyung_?” Donghyuck had swivelled his chair and sliding hard enough to knock into Mark’s own chair, with his neck rest on and Oscar Wylee glasses perched at the very tip of his nose. He’d adopted the honorific upon learning that Mark was older than him, despite Mark insisting that he didn’t need to, that they were really only a few months apart, and that they weren’t in Korea so really—

  
  


“ _Hyung, answer me!_ ” The menace whined, kicking at Mark’s chair with his polished dress shoes.

  
  


“Donghyuck _please_ , I really don’t— I mean I guess he smelt a little rotten when he walked in but I never thought that he would have done that, of all things.” Mark said in a breath, clearly exasperated and Donghyuck just grinned. 

  
  


“See! I knew you were like me!” And the menace swivelled his way back to his adjacent cubicle, winking at Mark before diving back into his work before Doyoung could catch him off-task. 

  
  


And that’s how he found out about the new spot that opened up and that another person would be coming in to fill in his place. The fact that Renjun could potentially could be filling in that role has Mark sweating underneath his suit.

  
  


“Oh really? Congratulations! I’m sure you’ll settle in fine.” Mark curses at how robotic he sounds, like he just regurgitated someone’s soulless Facebook comment underneath a milestone but Renjun smiles and all is well in the world again.

  
  


“Thanks! I mean I feel a little nervous but I heard the guy before me was awful so I’m sure I can at least exceed expectations.” Renjun says with a grin and now, that 33% is sounding more and more like a 50% as the lady in the pencil skirt walks out at Level 15 and now it’s just Renjun, him, and a middle-aged guy in the elevator, surging past Toronto’s skyline. 

  
  


“Hey, if you have Sua— Sara’s seal of approval then I’m sure you’re invincible.” Mark pats his mouth for his slip but Renjun lets out the cutest giggle. Even though they’re farther apart now, Mark can’t bring himself to turn around and face the guy without keeling at the sight of his face. 

  
  


“I guess I am, but um, if you don’t mind me asking, is Sara her English name?” Renjun turns around to face Mark directly and Mark has no choice but to do the same, and exhales softly.

  
  


“Yeah it is, I know Sua is pretty easy to pronounce already but her mother and I thought it would be best to give her an English name as well, when we filled in her paperwork for school and such later on.” Renjun nods thoughtfully in response.

  
  


“I see, she must be such a delight at school too.” As they edge towards Level 21, the middle-aged man shuffles forward, and unless Renjun presses on another button in the next ten seconds, Mark is really in for it now. 

  
  


“Her teacher tells me every time I get the chance to pick her up that she’s a pleasure to teach with this tight smile and I never know how to take that.” Renjun laughs openly at that and as they edge closer to Level 27, Mark’s heart constricts ever so slightly. 

  
  


“I can almost see it in my head, but she’s adorable, I wouldn’t know what to do— oh Mark, have you pressed on your level yet?” They reach Level 27. There are thirty levels in this building and the top three are all Moon and Nakamoto Corp. so really, Mark doesn’t have a way out. Not that he wants to escape, but the thought of walking out on the same floor together and truly fathoming that he’s going to be working with Mr Pretty Renjun from the park is terrifying. 

  
  


“Haha, yeah this is me.” And into the rabbit hole they go. Renjun stares at him in shock and then his face morphs into an expression of, if Mark is interpreting correctly and hopefully, pleasant surprise. 

  
  


“No way! This is where I’m working too! Gosh, what are the chances?” 

  
  


‘100%’, Mark weeps silently. 

  
  


“Right!” He tries his best not to croak as he walks in the same direction as Renjun, who takes everything at the office in with bewilderment.

  
  


“I’ve been here before but it really amazes me every time. I really would’ve never guessed that I’d be working at Moon and Nakamoto, even a year ago!” Mark clutches his shoulder bag tighter, stomach queasy with that same smitten sensation crashing like waves against rocks. Renjun is definitely an intelligent, hard-working, determined man, and it’s probably all of these qualities that worked in conjunction with each other that got him here. Mark wants to tell him that he truly deserves his spot, but he’s not sure if it’s the right time. 

  
  


“But now you’re here aren’t you?” Renjun looks back at him and his shoulders lose their tension.

  
  


“That I am.” They reach Taeil’s office at the end of the corridor and Mark gestures at the entry.

  
  


“Go get em tiger.” ‘Idiot’ is what follows in his head and Mark feels like even more like a dumpster fire but Renjun laughs again, the unbridled kind this time and like a spell was incanted across the entire floor, Mark’s soul settles. 

  
  


“Will do Mark! I’ll see you later hopefully?” Renjun bites his lip and Mark’s knees are shaking.

  
  


“Definitely!” Renjun smiles again, fully fledged with his pearly whites on for show and Mark thinks this precipitates the end of him. He watches Renjun hesitate for a second before knocking on Taeil’s glass door and Mark hesitates before walking into his own cubicle. 

  
  


He settles in fine, like Mark thought he would whether it was here or on the other two floors, but it’s disconcerting to see Renjun and Donghyuck linking arms like two peas in a pod. 

  
  


“ _Hyung_ , have you met Renjun yet? He’s so much better than the other stink,” he says behind his hand and he isn’t hiding his opinions from anyone when Renjun immediately grins like a cheshire cat, clearly pleased with the compliment considering it’s only been an hour and a half since he started his new job. 

  
  


“We met this morning actually,” Renjun says, not giving away too much but Donghyuck is too curious for his own good.

  
  


“This morning? Do you mean on his walk with _Sua_?” Donghyuck’s voice inflects higher and higher, interest piqued the moment Mark’s private life gets thrown into conversation and Renjun gives him a strange look.

  
  


“Yes? Gosh, it was so funny, she—” 

  
  


Before Mark knows it, his hand is millimetres away from Renjun’s mouth when he jolts from his seat and gives Donghyuck his fakest, boxiest smile.

  
  


“Yeah it was a super _duper_ funny morning! Now, why don’t you let Renjun do his job and go check out to that document I emailed you half an hour ago.” Mark stares Donghyuck down until he stops raising his eyebrows and throws his hands up in surrender, sauntering off to his adjacent cubicle while continuing to stare expectantly at Mark through the gap in their divider.

  
  


Mark heaves, belatedly realising that he can feel Renjun’s tiny breaths on his palm and drops his hand immediately. How he has dug himself deeper in such a compromising relationship with Renjun this quickly is concerning.

  
  


“I’m sorry about that— I just, I’d rather not have people from work know about um, my private life.” Mark says in a hushed tone and winces at how he must come off. The closed-off, quiet employee who does what he’s told, definitely has a stick up his ass, and doesn’t like sharing anything about his life. It’s all true but for some reason, Mark is almost ashamed of the way he is, the way he’s become in front of this man that’s he hasn’t even known for a day. 

  
  


“No, don’t apologise Mark. It was my bad, I’ll make note of that.” Renjun smiles genially, pats Mark on the shoulder in a form of apology before he points behind his shoulder with a sheepish grin.

  
  


“Should probably start doing my job, but I’ll catch you for lunch later?” Mark nods furiously, and it’s hilarious at this point how easily Mark has let his body speak for him in the presence of his newfound friend, if he’s granted the privilege to call Renjun that. With only another stellar smile, Renjun walks off to the other side of the floor and Mark wavers on shaky legs for a second before sinking into his chair.

  
  


“ _Hyung_ , you might want to wipe that drool off your face.” 

  
  


“Not a _word._ ”

  
  


The brunet smirks at first, and then gives Mark a grin so bright it blinds him momentarily before he dives back into his cubicle. He gets an email twenty minutes after that reads in the subject line ‘RE: that document you wanted me to work on’ and in the actual email, ‘ _Here you go hyung!! Also, +1416-555-0607, just in case you want to ask Renjun what he wants for lunch ^-^'_

Mark flags the email, closes the site immediately after, and hides his head in his arms.

He is a single dad whose purpose is now shrouded in providing his daughter the best life he can on his own, which for him means at the expense of his own selfish wants. This morning was one thing, but now that their lives have intersected in a spectacular turn of events, his chances have increased ten-fold. 

For the last five years of his life, Mark has been nothing but a victim to change. His daughter was the biggest blessing he could have ever received in those years, but with blessings come curses in disguise. Like how he’s now wondering if Renjun wants to try the sushi place down the road or if he wants to check out the food court on the ground level. Like how he’s thinking about asking Renjun if he would like to grab a coffee with him so they can get to know each other better. Does he like to run in the mornings? What made him apply for his job? Does he own tracksuits in other colours or just black? Would he even be interested in Mark, who has a baby girl at home and millions of flaws attached to his being? His selfish wants are spiking so suddenly, it’s giving him whiplash. 

Mark is thinking more than he usually does on a Tuesday, and when Renjun pops by his cubicle with a coupon on his phone for the sushi place down the road, he decides in the moment to let himself have this one thing.

  
  


“Hey! I have this coupon for the sushi place just down the block, are you keen?” 

  
  


Mark is thinking about how Renjun asked him specifically to have lunch, how he isn’t interested in mingling with the other young’uns in their department like Donghyuck and his posse, and instead, is wanting to share his one hour with Mark, the resident Old Guy with the kid and perpetual fatigue hanging off him like a sentimental piece of jewellery. 

  
  


“Sure, I love that place.” When Renjun grins even wider at that, gesturing Mark to drop his things and hurry up as he almost skips his way to the elevator, Mark is not sure what to do with himself.

  
  


He hasn’t bat an eyelash at anyone ever since Mina when he was eighteen years old. Call him repressed but he would argue that it was better for humanity if he didn’t get romantically involved with anyone. At twenty-seven-years old, Mark is already changing his ways and Renjun is the culprit. Or the catalyst for something he can’t even wrap his head around yet. Long gone are his reservations of Renjun the pretty stranger, a pretty stranger that wouldn’t want to pursue a romantic relationship with a Single Dad with a short list of redeeming qualities. 

One might call it a happy accident, that his daughter bumped into the back of Renjun’s legs in park during the early hours of the morning. And even yet, Mark is afraid of what will happen now that he’s let himself have this.

  
But Renjun loves California rolls, complains about his gym-rat best friend, asks about Sua _’s_ favourite cartoon (with impeccable pronunciation at that), and gushes about how excited he is to start on all the projects he’ll be able to take on in this new role. Renjun is sweet and kind, and doesn’t ask Mark about his wife or his noticeable distance from the rest of their tight-knit department. Mark is still thinking as they bond over the struggles of bilingualism and their shared passion for music— he thinks that he might really be in over his head this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have ignored mountains of work for fic writing these past two weeks. do i regret doing what i did? not as much as i should.
> 
> anyways apart from that impending crisis, i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! i have decided on seven chapters for now, but we'll see how we go- this is my second chaptered fic and i've never had an outline for my works but here we are, adhering to an outline. i hope everyone is staying safe, it's been a tough 2020 but i hope my offering of markren will help curb your feelings even just a little.


	3. the dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renjun is beginning to realise that he may have sprinted his way into a conclusion over the not-so-enigma Mark Lee while Mark takes Renjun, the cute guy from the park turned new guy at work, as the catalyst for him to eradicate his bad habit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reading your comments on the last chapter really got me through while i was writing and tinkering away at this third one so thank you for that <3 i hope you enjoy reading this one! spoilers: markren spill to their emotional support boys and a new side-ship is Acquired

“So, your first day, tell me about it.” Jeno mumbles out mid-chew, trying his best to close his mouth while he eats. Renjun tuts as he wipes away the mustard smeared all over his best friend’s lips with a creased napkin. 

  
  


“It was great actually, everyone was super nice and I got a solid overview of what they expect me to do and to what standard, which is what I didn’t get before.” By before, Renjun means his old workplace, renowned for their products and steadily growing presence in the tech field, sadly known enough for their awful treatment of workers. Renowned meant more clients and esteemed ones at that, but that didn’t distract from their poor internal management, especially within their smaller branches. Renjun likened his own workplace to just one of the multiple dead leaves hanging off a thin twig of an old, sturdy tree. Their shocking lack of transparency and his awful colleagues who had left him in the dust come deadline day for one of their most important launches of the year had finally tipped him off the edge and by then, Renjun had already secured the interview with Moon and Nakamoto Corp. With ease, he gently slammed his letter of resignation on the table of his greasy beef patty of a boss’ mahogany desk, citing that he was looking for new opportunities that would enable him to support his family back in China (yes, he pulled that card) and seeing that he had been unable to fulfil the blurry high standards the company was asking of him— his one-man team, he wanted to desperately cry out —therefore unable to grab a pay rise nor a promotion, he was looking to leave. Baldhead had only given him an insincere smile, telling him that he’d done well in the two years he’d been with them and that he wasn’t necessarily wrong (“ASSWIPE!” Jeno had spat out when Renjun told him, a piece of fried chicken flying out as he did) but they’d respect his decision and he was free to leave after two weeks. Two weeks flew by when he put the same effort into the project as his shitty workmates did and he was out of there in a flash. 

  
  


“That’s great to hear! Have you heard about anything upcoming that you’re definitely going to work on?” Jeno cuts his steak into bite-sized pieces for Renjun, a habit he’d developed days after looking after his baby nephew and slides three onto Renjun’s already loaded plate. It’s adorable really, and Renjun has made enough baby-daddy jokes about it that when he looks up at Jeno with a toothy grin, Jeno simply pushes his forehead back with the tip of his index finger.

  
  


“Answer my question idiot.” 

  
  


“Well, there’s been a project in the works ever since last year, I think the firm has been discussing putting it into motion soon so the CEO told me that I’d most likely be put on that, but under someone else’s leadership obviously.” Renjun wonders to himself if it’ll be Mark. 

  
  


“You have that look on your face... Are you worried? You should know well by now that you’re more than qualified for this job, and that asshole just never appreciated your skillset—” Jeno gets riled up with a mouth full of potato mash, eyes wide with fury so Renjun blurts out:

  
  


“There’s a guy.” 

  
  


“Wait, _already?_ Renjun, I know we haven’t been in the scene in a little bit but this seems a bit _soon,_ don’t you think?” Jeno backs down, swallows slowly, and looks at Renjun with one eyebrow arched.

  
  


“Jen it’s not like that! It’s just, I don’t know, I really want to get to know him… as a friend! He seems…” Hesitance hung off Mark in waves, when accepting Renjun’s offer for lunch, to answering Renjun’s innocuous questions about work. Renjun had done most of the talking at lunch, probably oversharing like he tends to do, but Mark had only chewed tentatively on his sushi, making noises here and there to show that he was listening, and gave Renjun some standard, practised answers for tips on working at M&N Corp. Again, maybe Mark is just the kind of person that you need to be patient with before they start to open up with you. Ease them into a conversation as opposed to expecting them to initiate, give them space, and not to take their silence as a sign for you to back off. 

  
  


Of course, he doesn’t blame the guy for not spilling out his entire life story to Renjun, a total stranger at this point. He probably wouldn’t even had talked about his personal life even if they were more than strangers and less than friends, judging by the way he reacted when Renjun ran his mouth when Donghyuck was around. So really, Renjun was lucky to have Mark’s little one barrel into him. ‘Lucky’ is the key word in question because now he realises that Mark was nothing like how he was with his daughter when he was at his desk, barely participating in any discussion, work-related or not, unless at the behest of Donghyuck. Now that Renjun really thinks about it, Donghyuck might be in the same boat as him, and he’s known Mark for a wildly longer time at that. 

  
  


“You ever think it’s maybe because he was with his daughter, as opposed to his workmates and his brand new colleague?” Jeno butts into Renjun’s internal monologue, waving his fork in a general gesture at Renjun, whose jaw drops open. 

  
  


“You were speaking out loud, but Jun, I think he’s just the type to draw a thick line between work and family. Also, how do you know how he is with his daughter?” Jeno frowns again and Renjun is for the second time that day, quick to defend himself.

  
  


“I actually met him at the park this morning, his daughter ran into me when I was doing my lap and then we met, but only briefly.” Renjun says, omitting their prolonged exchange of eye contact that got Renjun feeling warm under his tracksuit, how Sua was tugging onto him for dear life, how Mark had looked seconds away from socking him in the face. 

  
  


“Aw that’s actually really cute,” Jeno chews on another mouthful of steak and mash and hums thoughtfully. “But again, I’m sure he is entirely different and probably _happier_ with his daughter, and I can’t imagine he’d act the same at work and around you.” Renjun is beginning to realise that he may have sprinted his way into a conclusion over the not-so-enigma Mark Lee. Jeno continues. 

  
  


“First, that might be unprofessional behaviour, and secondly, not everyone is an open book like you Renjun,” Jeno reasons, setting his cutlery on the table and putting his hands on top of his best friend’s.

  
  


“I get that you want to make a good impression on all of your new workmates, even this guy you met at the park that just so happens to be one, but I don’t think you need to become besties with all of them, be it sharing your insecurities and concerns about the future over wine or giving them your thirty-five pizza coupons or going on couple spa retreats, to work well together.” 

  
  


Renjun doesn’t take his time to muse over Jeno’s words, in agreeing with him, because Jeno is always right. That’s been a fact since they were in high school and less knowledgeable than they are now, Jeno being the voice of reason, the moral anchor with only a slight penchant for mischief out of the two, in comparison to Renjun who got given a dash of rationality at birth and a ‘penchant for mischief’ in bucketloads. Which is not to say that Jeno is a completely rational, fully-functioning adult now, considering he’s also played the role of Renjun’s enabler that resulted in the both of them doing Incredibly Stupid Shit together all throughout college. This had led Renjun to think that Jeno had repressed his wild side in high school only for it to implode in both of their faces that one time they got arrested— he digresses. Jeno is always right, for the most part. 

  
  


“You’re right Jen, of course you are, but I don’t know what it is about _him_ specifically—” 

  
  


“He’s cute?” The way Renjun’s eyes widen in size and his ears and neck instantly flush pink is comical.

  
  


“Did you think that was hard to guess?” Renjun irons his lips together and Jeno snorts at the sight.

  
  


“I’m aware that _you’re_ aware that he has a daughter and I _know_ you’re above homewrecking, we left that in university,” Jeno pauses. “And also, he might not on our side of the crowd, which poses a little issue.” 

  
  


“But he—” Renjun can’t go on about the Connection they had at the park— he _shouldn’t._ At this point, he is digging at concrete and expecting gold to come jumping out. 

  
  


“But he what?” 

  
  


“Nothing, I’ve just got to get over this stupid straight-man crush I’ve developed embarrassingly quick and I’ll be okay.” Renjun holds his head in his hands and Jeno just pets him softly.

  
  


“There there, still a considerable amount of fish in the sea!” Renjun only grunts in response. He had sworn to himself that he didn’t need a partner to feel whole, leaving that for naive eighteen-year-old Renjun who only had eyes for the emotionally unavailable men within his campus radius, but that promise must have had little meaning since it easily shattered into a million pieces the moment Mark Lee stepped into the picture. A man with a daughter at that, _wow_ has Renjun has hit new lows.

  
  


“Enough about me, tell me about your day.” He lifts his head up from his arms and firmly takes Jeno’s hands into his own this time.

  
  


“Oh! Jisung told me that he’s got a few days off next month from work so we might go on a trip! It also aligns awfully well with our six-month anniversary but I’m really not sure if he did that on purpose because I’m _pretty_ sure he doesn’t remember—” 

  
  


They spend the next hour discussing whether Jisung is really planning a surprise or if Jeno is just overthinking it, the second hour at Renjun’s watching old reruns of the Bold and the Beautiful, and before he leaves, Jeno presses a quick kiss on his forehead and tells him not to worry about whatever is plaguing his mind (Mark Lee). Jeno wields so much power over Renjun in that sense because he doesn’t lie when he nods in agreement before his best friend goes out the door, and actually doesn’t think about it (Mark Lee) for the rest of the night. 

  
  
  


On the other side of the city, Mark opens the door to his apartment to an armful of his daughter and his two best friends grinning over at the kitchen island.

Dejun and Yukhei don’t even try to hide the fact that they definitely let her stick her hand into the chocolate box Mark has stashed away above the fridge, the telltale signs being the sticky brown smeared over her fingers and the haphazard job the couple did at wiping away her mouth to hide the evidence. They’re also all too happy to leave when Bella barks loudly at Yukhei out of discomfort when Sua starts what Mark calls her ‘zoomies’ across their living room, jolting the dog out of its mid-slumber. 

  
  


“Bye Markie!” Before Mark can even utter out a thanks or bye or shake his fist angrily at them, the couple and their dog are out the door, sneakers scuffing against the wooden floorboards as Yukhei quickly pushes Dejun out, dog carrier in hand. 

  
  


“ _Appa!_ ” Sua screeches and Mark sighs as she charges towards him, eyes burning bright with sugar high, and straight into his stomach.

  
  


“Oof!” Mark falls backwards onto the couch and his daughter almost gurgles in delight when she crawls up his torso and smacks a wet kiss onto his cheek.

  
  


“Hi Daddy,” she whispers in his face, fists gripping each side of his collar and promptly staining it an opaque brown. Mark rolls them over and blows a raspberry on the tops of her hands, earning more cackles as she tries to wriggle out of his grasp.

  
  


Mark thinks a little more as his daughter continues to yell unintelligibly and wrestle herself out of his hands.

  
  


“Nugget, would you like to help me do some chores?” Mark asks and the light in her eyes fizzles out instantly.

  
  


“Chores? What’s that?” 

  
  


“Cleaning! When I ask you to put your toys away or to put your dirty clothes in the laundry, those are all chores,” he explains, taking a wet wipe from the coffee table to clean up any last bits of chocolate in between her fingers and on her palm. 

  
  


“Oh.” She makes a thoughtful noise and then scans the room. 

  
  


“I put my toys away.” Sua points to the plastic storage box next to the TV and Mark sits her up on his lap.

  
  


“That’s just one kind of chore, I need you to help me dry the dishes, can you do that?” His daughter nods enthusiastically and zooms again to the kitchen where her stool remains folded up next to the fridge and props it up next to the sink. Mark makes it to the kitchen before his daughter incurs a head injury trying to reach for the drying cloths by the oven, and they start.

  
  


It’s a fairly silent affair as Mark cleans up any last plates left behind from the morning and hands them over to his daughter, who remarkably, is already starting to drop off her Snicker-induced high. Her hands can barely grip the edge of the plate by the time she’s on the third and Mark adds ‘doing bare minimum chores’ to his mental list of techniques for getting his daughter knackered enough for bedtime.

She isn’t entirely asleep yet, still awake enough for Mark to give her bath and change her into her pajamas, even managing to brush her own teeth although getting most of it smeared on the bathroom counter and on her shirt, but by the time Mark’s carried her to bed, she’s properly knocked out. 

Mark evidently forgoes the bedtime story and tucks her in, pressing a kiss to her forehead before he closes the door, slumping against it once it clicks shut. 

He’s reminded of the beers in the fridge, stacked behind the pancake mix and the glass tupperware container of kimchi Mark’s mum brought over on her last visit. When he cracks it open against the kitchen counter and lets himself sink into the couch, he sees himself in the reflection of the TV, taking a few seconds to survey how miserable he looks. Still in his chocolate-stained dress shirt, tie thrown into the washing basket and his slacks crinkled as he curls up on the couch, drinking his beverage at a weird angle as to not spill the substance on the upholstery, Mark isn’t as concerned over how comfortable he is seeing himself this way as he really should be.

As soon as that thought enters his mind, the doorbell rings and Mark jolts.

  
  


“ _Hyung_ , it’s me!”

  
  


Mark scratches his neck and opens the door to see Jisung leaning against the doorframe, white plastic bag in hand.

  
  


“Hungry?” The smell of something fried wafts in the air when his cousin lifts the bag and Mark only gestures at the couch.

  
  


“You’re drinking? Wow, I came just in time,” Jisung says, shucking off his trainers and plopping onto the couch, getting to work with the takeaway box.

  
  


“Why the visit Ji? You didn’t call or text—” Mark only needs to stare a bit harder at his phone to spot the missed call and three texts from Jisung to shut up.

  
  


“I checked your location and you were at home, so I just came anyway— is Sua asleep?” Jisung offers a chicken drumstick to Mark, already on his second.

  
  


“Yeah, I just got her to bed, Dejun and Yukhei let her eat so much chocolate, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get her in by nine.” Jisung smiles at that before jumping on his feet to grab a drink of his own, opting for a Coke.

  
  


“Jisung, you remember that you’re twenty-four right?” 

  
  


“You know I’m not a beer person, and no, you’re not going to take this situation to remind me of the time I chundered on my 18th in front of _halmeoni_.” Jisung groans, shoving Mark to the side with his elbow as he sits back down on the floor, and Mark has to slap his hand over his mouth as to muffle his laugh.

  
  


“I’m going to show the video to Su one day and you’ll never hear the end of it.” When Jisung hides his head in his arms and Mark slaps his back in a fit of giggles, it’s like they’ve gone back in time. 

  
  


Jisung hadn’t always been in Canada, having completed high school in Korea, and fought tooth and nail with his parents to attend university in here, where Mark had been for the last five years. When he was still living in Korea, Jisung had followed him everywhere, eager to learn about life from his just as inexperienced _hyung_ but Mark appreciated the gesture and treasured every moment he spent with his younger cousin. Up until his parents made the move when Mark graduated middle school, they spent almost every afternoon together, whether it was playing basketball out on the court outside Jisung’s house, video games at Mark’s, or pestering their grandma for bites of food when she was cooking dinner after school. Mark was only three years older than Jisung but he’d learnt just as much, if not more, from him. Jisung was already talented at dance since birth and everybody knew he was special in that regard, but his passion extended beyond the art and was present in everything else he did. Determination, perseverance, and a flurry of other traits were what Mark only hoped he’d gain in the years they’d spent together. 

  
  


But when Sua came into the picture and the news earned Mark’s parents hard looks from aunties and uncles, Jisung was all the more fired up to leave his life to go to school halfway across the world. He’d learnt English in the span of three months before starting freshman year at the performing arts college minutes away from Mark’s flat, and wasn’t fluent but determined to at least be able to communicate with Sua’s childcare teacher when Mark spent the day attending job interview after job interview. When Mark secured his employment at M&N, Jisung was already midway through second year, already juggling a paid internship at a dance academy plus school, and looking after Sua while Mark was settling into his new job. 

So as Jisung devours another piece of chicken, Mark is reminded of his first days at work, coming home after a long day with take out in hand, and seeing Jisung rocking Sua to sleep while typing away at another assignment and sorting out a spreadsheet for the studio at the same time. Late nights sharing memories of summers, missing their grandma’s cooking and endearing laugh while watching Sua grow. Mark realises now how easily time slips from his fingertips and how he’ll never be able to thank Jisung enough, for everything. 

  
  


“ _Hyung_ , are you even listening to me?” Jisung waves his greasy fingers at Mark to grab his attention.

  
  


“Sorry.” Mark ducks his head and Jisung sighs, dropping his hand to prop his elbow on the coffee table and lean his cheek on the back of his hand.

  
  


“I was saying, I want you to meet my boyfriend.”  
  


“Oh so _now_ I get to meet your elusive dancer boyfriend?” Mark raises his eyebrows but swallows back his laugh when Jisung doesn’t whine like he expects him to and instead sits up straight and faces him directly.

  
  


“I was waiting until I was certain about him and we’ve almost hit half a year now, so I thought now would be the right time.” Jisung puffs out his cheeks and a spear gets thrown through Mark’s ribcage when his cousin says:

  
  


“I’m sorry I didn’t introduce you guys sooner, but it was important to me that Jeno knew I would put you two first before anything else, and only if he was comfortable with that, that we’d stay together.”

  
  


Mark realises belatedly then, that he’s let himself forget that Jisung has grown so much in the last five years, and upon painfully watching as Mark picked himself back up, he’s probably realised quicker than most his age that love is rare and precious. Yet, Mark can’t help but feel that the example he’s made of himself has denied Jisung the opportunity to learn what love really is. 

Jisung hasn’t had the opportunity to learn in the sense that he hasn’t allowed himself to indulge in fleeting attractions because he’s seen what that indulgence can potentially lead to. To every young person in their early twenties, knocking up your partner, breaking up with that partner, and becoming a single parent at twenty-three, when it’s clear to yourself and everyone around you that you aren’t ready at all emotionally, mentally or financially, sounds like a living nightmare.

So naturally, Jisung had been cautious, careful of who he let in to his life, that only when Jeno had stuck around, determined to let Jisung know that someone out there would love him, even with his so-called caveats, he relented. It was because they weren’t caveats at all and instead, boundaries that deserved to be respected, and Mark only knows about this part of their relationship in vague detail, as the younger had never gone into specifics and remained equivocal about it, which to Mark translated as something best left between them two. For Jisung to have waited half a year to wait Jeno out, to see when he would cave, not if he would cave, and leave him for someone better, that maybe he was lying the entire time about being okay with second place in Jisung’s life, breaks Mark apart. 

  
  


“Jisung…” Mark doesn’t know what to say. 

  
  


“ _Hyung_ , I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong. This was my entirely my decision, and I don’t want you to apologise at all, you hear me?” Jisung smiles, his cheeks high and eyes warm with a sort of affection that Mark has grown too immune to, when really he should be appreciating it and giving it back in tenfold. 

  
  


“I— okay Ji, I’m— I’m excited to meet him.” That sentence alone sets Jisung’s mouth in a permanent grin and Mark washes down the taste of guilt on his tongue with another sip of his beer. 

  
  


“I’ll let you know the details. Anyways, how was your day today?” He asks and Mark, at first, doesn’t recall anything exciting.  
  


“I mean, we’re putting that project from last year that I told you about at top priority this week and starting the first stage, so I’m excited for that. Boss says I’m running the show, which is intimidating and I haven’t headed a project in a long time so I’m not sure how that’s going to go, but apart from that not much.” The image of Renjun biting into a sushi roll conveniently enters his brain at that very moment and when Jisung stares at him a little longer and leans in, Mark knows he’s been made.

  
  


“You _sure_ nothing much else happened?”

  
  


“There’s, um, well, there was this, um—” Does he tell him about the park first? Or work? Or the fact that Mark had his first outing with someone that was not his two best friends or his cousin for the first time in almost four years? 

  
  


“Come _on_ dude, spill.”

  
  


“There’s a new guy.” Mark is expecting wide eyes and a jaw to drop, maybe the earth under his feet to shake a little, but nothing comes.

  
  


“Oh cool! Did you guys talk at all? Is he nice? Good vibes? I know the last guy was awful.” Mark forgets that he’s a classic overthinker, and that Jisung is normal for not crying murder at the sound of Mark talking to new people outside of his four-person bubble. 

  
  


“Yeah he is, um, way better than the last one, but we kind of? Ate lunch together?” Mark inflects at the end and again, no visible reaction from Jisung as he inhales another chicken wing.

  
  


“Oh, did he ask to eat lunch together? That’s nice of him.” Mark looks expectantly at Jisung as his cousin wipes his mouth with a tissue.

  
  


“Why are you looking at me like that? I’m genuinely happy for you if that’s what you’re worried about, I don’t think you’ve met spoken to a new person in ages but this guy seems great so far, unless… Is there something else you want to say?” 

  
  


“He’s cute.” 

  
  


Jisung raises his eyebrows and Mark slaps a hand over his mouth. In vino Goddamn veritas indeed.

  
  


“So that’s why you were looking constipated for the last two minutes. You think he’s cute, so what?”

  
  


Mark knows that if the thought of dating wasn’t at the forefront of his mind, clouding his everyday rationale it seems, he wouldn’t be so thrown about telling Jisung about Renjun. 

  
  


“You know what I think about you getting back into the dating scene again, but I’m not telling you to climb the first person that you find attractive.” Jisung says and Mark, stupidly, responds with:

  
  


“Hey! He’s funny too!” 

  
  


“Not the point _hyung_. Befriend him and get to know him first. He’s new at your company and will probably need guidance too, so let that be the stepping stone, before you even begin to think about anything more.” 

  
  


Jisung is looking at him with a sense of pity that confirms to the sober part of Mark that he’s acting a fool right now.

  
  


“Did I jump too quick into that one?” Jisung offers Mark the last drumstick and nods slowly.

  
  


“A little, you’re not marrying the guy.”

  
  


Remembering Renjun in a suit is already putting Mark in a spiral, nevertheless a white one, and it’s at this point, that Mark really thinks he’s gone stir-crazy. 

  
  


“I know Dejun and I have already done your head in about it, but it wasn’t with the intention of you finding the nearest cute boy in your area and tying him down,” Jisung snorts as he speaks, which only serves to further mortify Mark because of _course,_ Mark would be the only person to jump ship with those two relatively short conversations in mind, from no girlfriend or boyfriend to marrying the first hot person he finds.

  
  


“It was because we both thought that you needed, and still need, to realise that you don’t have to shoulder everything on your own, because although you’ll always have us, someone else out there will want to be there for you too.”

  
  


“Now when did you get so wise, hm?” Mark mumbles from underneath his arms, his face currently planted into the table. 

  
  


“Please, I ran the Agony Aunt column at school back in the day, don’t underestimate me like that.” 

  
  


Mark laughs softly at that, and as the two of them sit in the living room, Jisung’s head pillowed on the edge of the sofa and Mark leaning his cheek on the cool glass of the table, his face dusted tipsy pink, he realises that life is not as complicated as he makes it seem. Twisting the truth until it was tangled beyond repair seems to be his specialty and he takes Renjun, the cute guy from the park turned new guy at work, as the catalyst for him to eradicate it. The silence that envelops them only serves to comfort him, and Jisung smiles when Mark turns his cheek to face him.

  
  
“You’ll be alright _hyung,_ trust me.” And Mark doesn’t hesitate to do just that.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, favourite line?  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/_norencult) \+ [cc](https://curiouscat.me/98mbins)


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